Skills required to be a cricket captain

Wednesday, July 16, 2008 : Reference, Clubs

Social Worker - to help the alcoholics, newly divorced, players out of form, players who are out of form who can't stand the players who are in from because while averaging 40 plus they always complain of never getting as many runs as they should.
Hard Worker - you have to do everything, don't expect any help from your vice-captain - he'll be busy planning his succession.
Miracle Worker – turn a team of unfit, overweight 40 some-things into a team of world beaters or at least a team that doesn’t get bowled out for 40 against Compton Mackerel.
Project Manager – get a team, get a team to the match on time… sober, and don’t forget your kit including the team shampoo and shower gel.
Masseur - for egos not bodies.
Psychologist – for team pro/best player – see item 5.
Meteorologist - I told you not to bat with the wind from the east and [insert some other old wives tale]. But all the forecasts I saw said no rain predicted and we're never very good at chasing anyway.
Motivator – Just what does Michael Vaughan say 3 times a day in the huddle?
Deaf Ear - To paraphrase Winston Churchill, 'Never on the cricket field of conflict, has so much drivel been uttered by so many to one man - you.'
... Oh and being a cricketer helps a bit too.

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